Casa del John

Authors Note: A lot has happened over the last few months, some things that have been touched on in detail and others that have transpired behind closed doors. The purpose of these ’spotlights’ is to allow our characters to summarize their current thoughts and feelings. This is John’s.

***

Life as a vampire is really strange, but extremely cool. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, especially in the past few weeks as my vampire instincts have been taking on different forms and leading to some really trippy moments. Ever since what happened with Delilah, I’ve been exploring a lot of shit, both through action and inside my head. Well, alright… it started before what happened, but it’s gotten even more interesting since then.

Feeding from humans, at first, involved this haze where the rest of the world sort of stopped existing and all I could think about was the blood running down my throat. (Which, holy shit, tastes amazing.) After a while, though, the fog would clear a little bit at a time until the other problems started. Blood doesn’t lose what makes it so intoxicating, but you start becoming more aware of both what surrounds you and what you’re holding onto. Probably doesn’t help that I started preying on women a lot more than the men, but it left me where I wound up.

I still remember the first time it happened. As I was feeding from an alright-looking blonde, she rubbed up against me a certain way and my eyes snapped open. I felt her wriggle again, but she was brushing right up against my crotch and I suddenly wanted to fuck something really bad. I ground back against her. She died before I came, but I was pretty fucking close when I let go.

The next time, I found an even prettier girl and ground against them from the start. You can guess what happened from there. Every time I talked to Delilah, I hung up the phone wishing I could touch her and… well, I doubt I need to fill in all of the blanks there. Basically, the sex impulse was in full swing and shouting louder than the feeding impulse because it wasn’t getting any attention. Two things happened because of it.

Number one: Delilah and me. We went over to Robin’s house for a visit and from the first moment I looked at her, I felt the itch start and only get worse the longer we were together. Robin and Lydia excused themselves and Delilah walked away, leaving me alone with Dad, Victor, and Flynn. As happens all the time with them, they got frisky and wandered off. Delilah returned and well… it didn’t take long for us to start some heavy kissing.

The first mistake we made was to sleep through the day together after the fireworks ended. (Sex with a vampire, as a vampire, is nirvana. Keep that in mind, it becomes important again later.) The second mistake we made was to start fucking when we woke up. It took long enough for us to think about getting Delilah dressed and by that time, Victor opened the door, looking like he could set us on fire just by staring at us. The fight he and Delilah got into was epic. Fists, German, and the pièce de résistance being Victor breaking Delilah’s arm. Oh, we’d fucked up to the nth degree, but I wasn’t expecting that. I still don’t get what Delilah said to piss Victor off so gloriously.

I need to learn German.

Alright, here’s the lead-in to the second thing that happened because of my new ‘problem’. Before that night with Delilah, I caught myself once or twice looking at Victor and realizing something weird was going on with me. I saw him naked the night Lydia and I set a couple of mortals loose in the backyard and it didn’t disgust me. A few other things happened and I started to realize, well to put it one way, my dick wasn’t being discriminate in who it wanted some action from. Sleeping with Delilah was a huge relief.

I asked Victor for help (no, not that kind of help) before it could get worse. He exposed me to the adventurous world of bedding our human meals. I think I took to it a little too easily, because that first night, Victor slipped away while I had fun with the girl he’d helped me seduce. I don’t know why I even wanted him there and why I asked him about the femoral artery, but I think I spooked him or something like that. I don’t know. He got a weird look in his eyes later when I mentioned sharing a meal some other time.

And to make things even more surreal, fucking the humans hasn’t made the weird flickers of impulse I get with Victor stop. He’s turned me on without realizing it a couple of times since then. And then the other night, he strung my guitar for me and when I watched him strum it, I felt something else. I don’t know how to describe it. Like… we were closer for a moment. And I liked it. I wandered back to my room and played for a while, but I refuse to talk about it to anybody in this house.

I know it sounds like I’m getting ready to jump Victor’s bones, but no, I’m not. I’m holding out as long as possible, because I don’t swing that way and I’m afraid of getting to some base and finally getting freaked before the full monty. God, that would be a huge fucking tease and I wouldn’t want to do that to the poor guy. Not to mention that feeling this way has me spooked too much to even think about acting on it. I’m blaming it on being a new vamp and leaving it at that.

Let’s see how long that lasts, eh?

I felt like a deer caught in the headlights when my Dad and Victor called a family meeting some time two weeks ago, mainly because I had the sense this wasn’t just going to be a social gathering between us all. Things had been getting more and more serious for a while, and when the air feels fifty pounds heavier around you, you start realizing it’s not just your imagination.

I also saw the way they looked at me. That didn’t help matters any.

Now, I could start by talking about the fact that I’m a little bit of a fugitive right now or even get into the whole business of me being reluctant to take up the whole mantle of being a seer. That stuff is pretty much a given, though. When Lydia ran from the Order, I followed with the troops and the minute I caught sight of my father, I knew they’d been lying to us about Dad being dead for all these years. Well, I guess they were technically right, but the bullshit they manufactured about him being killed in the line of duty was piled too thick to see the truth. My father’s a vampire. Which means I could have known him all this time.

I didn’t though. I don’t even remember being a toddler and playing hide-and-seek with him like he tells me we used to; there’s a big gap in my memory that only starts when I was around five or six, a couple of years after my Grandpa and Grandma took custody of me and Lydia. No, my introduction to Dad came with me holding a katana and stalking through the coven house looking for my sister, whom I was told they had taken hostage. I traveled all the way from Seattle to Philadelphia only to get myself in a sword fight and when my father finally had me subdued, he stepped out of the shadows and I saw what can only be described as me ten years into the future.

Things changed rapidly from there. I stayed. I got to know my father, spent a lot of time with my Uncle Robin, and met Delilah in the space between then and now. I became so comfortable around vampires that when I fell in love with Delilah, I started considering the possibility of being turned. Partially for her sake. I didn’t want her to go through all that time of me growing old and doing the things I was going to be called to do while waiting for the message I’d been killed in the line of duty. We’ll get to that in a minute; the bottom line is I wanted my own say in things and so, when Victor offered to turn me, I already knew I was going to say yes.

The problem is, I made a promise that I’d wait to get my powers before being turned. Granted, that’s given me the chance to make my peace with the decision, but no matter how many last ice cream cones I eat and final sunsets I look at, my mind has been made up. I’ve just been waiting for the inevitable. And I’ve known it’s been coming. Ever since I was little, I was told both by my grandparents and by the Supernatural Order that I’d be a seer some day, which carries a lot of weight to it. Being shuttled off to kill vampires. Stopping threats to the natural order with my abilities. Uncle Ben might have told Peter Parker ‘with great power comes great responsibility,’ but I don’t think Spider-Man could even fathom what a seer goes through in their short lifespan.

I just didn’t know how quickly it all would finally find its way onto my lap.

The answer came during the family meeting, and like I said, I could feel the way Dad and Victor looked at me as we all sat around the table and discussed a problem Victor’s bloodline has been having with some videos on the Internet. Somebody’s been recording them while they’ve been feeding and the first time I caught sight of the videos, I immediately smelled something rotten in the state of Denmark. I was the one who first brought up the possibility of the Order being behind this. They’ve been getting bad in recent years, hunting vampires without impunity, as my Dad puts it, and not focusing so much on the natural order as they have been on their vendetta against immortals. I still remember all too well being taught vampires are evil creatures who deserve whatever punishment the Order doles out against them. Needless to say, I could see them stooping this low.

Still, none of us know why they would do it.

Victor figured we could all sit around and wait to see what happens, or we could get to the bottom of it ourselves. I never thought to volunteer to help, because without my abilities, I have no good way of justifying why I would show back up at the Order after a year and a half of being away from them. By now, I know they’re aware I’m here because I want to be and anything I did would be suspicious, short of feeding them a line about me having my gifts and wanting to do something about my calling. We gathered around for the meeting just the same and as we discussed our options for figuring out what might be going on, my sister, Lydia, gave us the way in we’d been looking for.

She looked sheepishly at us all and said, “I’m glad you guys called the meeting, because if you hadn’t, I would have.” She paused and then continued. “I know how to bring out John’s powers. I had a dream this morning and… let’s just say somebody taught me how to do it.”

“Taught you how?” Dad asked, raising an eyebrow at her. What followed was an explanation that even knocked me for a loop. My sister was visited by the ghost of our dead mother, who had brought Dad’s powers out when he was still an assassin for his maker. She did it to try and save my father. This time around, it seemed The Fates had other ideas. Dad and Victor’s idea of me infiltrating the Order had almost been given the supernatural seal of approval.

Given that, I didn’t have any good reason to say no.

I have to admit, I spent the next couple of weeks saying goodbye to everything in a different way. Before, I was looking at the world as a mortal for the last time, knowing after I got my powers, I’d be a vampire and wouldn’t be able to do certain things anymore. This time, I looked around knowing I was willingly walking into the lion’s den so I could find out why they were attacking Victor’s bloodline. If it wasn’t for the fact that I care about my Dad and care about Victor, I would have probably told them to find another patsy, but because this affected everybody I love, I accepted what laid ahead and tried not to let it bother me too badly. I wasn’t going to get turned right after Lydia drew out my gifts. Instead, I was flying right into the arms of the enemy. My sister promised me, though, she would accompany me as my watcher, so I at least had the comfort of knowing I wouldn’t be alone.

At least, not entirely. It still felt somewhat like I had a burden only I could carry being placed on my shoulders. I told Victor, when he agreed to turn me, I wouldn’t shirk whenever the powers-that-be tapped me on the shoulder to fulfill my calling and now, I had to put my money where my mouth was. I spent a lot of time with Delilah, knowing I’d have to leave Philadelphia within a night or two of having my gifts, because the Order would come looking for me if I didn’t come looking for them. They have a way of locating new seers and I wouldn’t be underground any longer. I’d be a giant zit of a blip on their radar screen and this time, they wouldn’t let me just hide away from them in the safety of my Uncle Robin’s former coven.

I talked to my family. I made Dad and Victor promise to get away from Philly when I left, in case the Order had a bone to pick with Dad over turning my sister Lydia. They swore, with Delilah and Robin, that they’d all leave town, which at least made me feel a little better. From there, I counted down the hours, waiting. Preparing. Making sure my head was where it needed to be.

No revealing to the Order I intended to be turned.

No telling them where my Dad and Victor might have gotten to.

Bridling my mouth. Walking the line. Being a minion for the puppetmasters like I’d been trying to avoid. I hopped into my car one night and took a drive as far as I could stand it, then parked by the side of the road and watched the sun come up, swearing to myself I’d hold onto my free will and not feel like I had to be their bitch while I was under their employ. Oh, I’d fight their demons and listen to their training if I had to, but they weren’t going to take my mind again. Not even as an act. I’d already let them poison me for fifteen years. And it had been fifteen years too fucking long.

By the time I made it back to Philly, my sister had woken from her daily rest. I knocked on her door and waited for her to answer before leaning against her door frame. “Let’s do this,” I said to her.

She blinked at me. “Do what?”

“Bring out my powers.” I nodded. “Like Mom taught you how to do.”

“But we still have another couple of days, John.”

“I’m tired of waiting.” Exhaling a deep breath, I ran my fingers through my hair. “It’s driving me crazy just sitting here pretending we’re not about to play spy in a house full of people who hate us. I know this needs to be done. We need to know why they’re trying to out Victor’s bloodline and all. So, let’s get this done and over with so I’m not about to start climbing the walls.”

Lydia frowned at me. “What about Delilah?” she asked. I read the secondary question. What about her and Robin, too?

It caused me to frown. “If you’re not ready for this, I’ll understand.”

“No.” She shook her head and then managed a smile for me. “You’re right. Out of the way and all that.” I watched her take a deep breath and then exhale it slowly. “You sure you’re ready?”

“Serious as a heart attack,” I said, stepping into her room and shutting the door behind us.

Lydia rummaged around, doing what she needed to do to prepare while I rolled up the sleeves of my Henley and tousled my hair around a little bit. I sat on the edge of her bed lost in thought for a while, thinking about the fact that I’d be different now. It wouldn’t just be my sword skills. I’d be able to read people’s thoughts and throw people around using only my mind. I’d be able to do all the things Dad told me I might be able to do in the two weeks I’d been spending waiting for the time on the clock to run out. Seeing the past. Receiving visions of the future. Knowing when other people didn’t have the best intentions and having to kill the very thing I’d be turning into a little down the road. I knew some of them did deserve it, but still, it all gave me a headache when I took in the entire landscape all at once.

“Lay down,” Lydia said, bringing me back into reality.

I nodded and from there, I put myself at her mercy.

It took a few minutes for her to do anything, minutes I spent staring at the ceiling wondering if I’d be the same John when all was said and done. “Does this hurt?” I finally asked.

“I don’t know,” Lydia said. “Mom didn’t say. She just told me it would probably feel weird to you.” She paused to sigh. “Glad I fed last night.”

I grinned and tilted my head to look at her. “Your bratty kid brother’s getting you into trouble again.”

She smiled softly, knowing what I meant. During our entire time with the Order, I was the outspoken one who didn’t know when to sit down and shut up. I gave my instructors hell. And that was even when I was still partially on their side. “Try not to get us killed, John,” she said, but she grinned as if trying to make sure I knew she was joking.

I nodded and winked. Turning my head to stare at the ceiling again, I felt Lydia’s hands settle on my head and closed my eyes, almost unable to stop myself from doing so. Her fingers pressed into my skull and I yelped when she entered my mind, not in pain, but surprised at the way it felt to have something crawling around inside there. My hands gathered fistfuls of her sheets. I felt the weird sensation first of ants marching around before everything started getting turned around, like somebody shelving library books and then switching which bookcases they placed the volumes on. I tried to talk, but I couldn’t. Tried to scream once when one book in particular felt like it turned a switch and flooded my head full of light. I don’t know when I fell asleep, but something made me drowsy enough that I didn’t fight it when it took me under.

When I woke, I was in a dark room, surrounded by a few people I couldn’t make out at first.

“Turn on the light.”

Somebody flipped the switch on the wall, which made me wince from the sudden amount of light that filled the room. I groaned and shut my eyes. “Damn, could you warn a person first before you do that?” I asked, rubbing at my eyes and then blinking a few times before lifting my lids again. I squinted at first, then made out each member of the family, seeing Victor first, and then my dad. Then Lydia, Robin, and Delilah. I grinned. “Hey, hey, the gang’s all here. How long have I been out?”

“A few hours,” Lydia said, but I could see her staring at me as though she was seeing me for the first time.

I blinked and raised an eyebrow. “What, did I grow a third eye or something?”

“Not quite.” I looked at Dad as he spoke and he grinned when our eyes met. “Look in the mirror, John,” he said.

I nodded and sat up, feeling a little dizzy at first and pausing to get my bearings before swinging my legs over the side of Lydia’s bed and trudging for her bathroom. I flipped on the switch and winced again, then looked into her mirror and had to chuckle at what I saw. My once bright blue eyes had turned an emerald green and the world around me suddenly felt different. I could feel everybody in the other room and heard small whispers I tried to push away when I realized I was hearing their thoughts. “Well, shit,” I said, chuckling and turning around to look at everybody again. I smiled. “I guess that means it worked then, didn’t it?”

Lydia looked proud of herself, albeit a little tired. As though the effort had taken a little bit out of her. I sized up Victor and my father, looked at Uncle Robin, then smiled a little brighter when I saw Delilah. She mirrored my grin and said, “You look very handsome, John.”

I swallowed hard and fought to keep the smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn anybody. I just… wanted to get this all over with.”

“We are just glad everything turned out alright,” Dad said. He turned to Lydia and patted her on the shoulder. “Very well done, dear.”

Lydia grinned. “Look, I made a seer,” she said, winking at me. “I’m better than Lasik.”

I had to chuckle. The family let me relax a little before bombarding me with questions as to what I saw, how I felt, what all was different now and what was the same. I did my best to answer the questions, feeling like a wire kept humming in the background. Like I had merged with the air in a whole different way than I’d experienced before. I walked around the coven house and dared myself to read a few people’s minds and returned to my room, focusing on random objects and making them shift around before forcing them to fly into my outstretched hand. I had to admit, it all amused me. Until I realized I’d have to leave now in a couple of nights.

That might have been why I held Delilah a little tighter this morning. I have no idea when I’m going to see her again. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow evening when I load up the Mustang and Lydia and I start the long drive from here to Seattle. They’re not going to like me demanding to have a vampire as my watcher. They’re still going to be suspicious of me, but I couldn’t care less.

Because when I woke today, I took one look at my hand and gathered all the energy I could inside of me. I grinned like a devil as light began to engulf my fingers and sparks jumped from one digit to the next. They never had the chance to keep my dad, but they’ll have me and while I jump through their hoops, Lydia and I will be figuring out why they’re punishing Victor’s bloodline. They might not see it coming, and then again, they might, but someday the last laugh will be on me, when I stand on the other side of the line, grinning at them with a new set of fangs.

Some day, I’ll be the master of my own destiny. In the meantime, I’ll play along. And if they know what’s good for them, they’ll listen because I have a funny feeling this time, the clock’s winding down for them.

The future’s kind of scary when you stop to think about it.

I know, that’s a total no-brainer and everything, because hell, we’re all afraid of the unknown and the future is a huge black hole full of hints and nothing more. Still, for some of us it can be a little more intimidating than it is for others.

Take a cancer patient, for instance. Especially a terminal patient. Now, there, you know part of your future, because if the doctor tells you you’ve got six months to live, at best you can hope for a year. Chances are you’re going to die, though. And if not then, some time in the future. We’re all going to die somehow, it’s just a question of when and how, which then makes you ask yourself what do we face on the other side and is there a god and heaven and stuff?

Anyway, I’m kind of like a cancer patient because I have a terminal clock ticking inside me that’s waiting to ring. It’s not going to kill me, per se, but it’s going to change my life and I’ve been pretty afraid of the future as a result. It’s one thing to say you’re going to be a doctor when you graduate from college. It’s another thing to say some day, you’re going to be a seer.

Being a seer isn’t something you choose. It’s something chosen for you. At least I’m fortunate in that I know it’s going to happen… most seers only wake up one morning and discover they can read people’s thoughts and move things around with their minds. That has to be pretty fucking trippy, I admit it. It’s going to be trippy enough for me and I see it coming. It’s something you’re born with, and one day the alarm goes off and it becomes who you are.

While the powers themselves don’t really intimidate me, the responsibilities attached to them have ever since my father came back into my life. I guess you could explain that two ways. First of all, Dad is pretty fucking powerful and when I say pretty fucking powerful, I mean, like, light energy being used as a weapon powerful. He does shit most seers only dream about and this is what’s in my g.d. DNA. That’s one thing the Supernatural Order never hesitated to tell me, even when they tried to convince me and Lydia that our parents were both dead.

“You are going to be a master seer much faster than most master seers, John.”

And that’s what leads me to the second scary thought. I love my Dad. Granted, I never thought one day I’d crash into my dead father and discover he was a vampire. (Irony much?) But once I got past all the shit people ever told me about how evil and soulless vampires are, I discovered my Dad is… actually a half decent guy. And then I met my Uncle Robin and Lydia had to be turned… etc. etc. Here were all these vampires I actually liked and suddenly the Order starts to look like a bunch of idiots for wanting to kill vampires just for being vampires.

There’s kind of one problem.

Doesn’t matter how keen I am on vamps. When I get my powers, the Order’s going to come looking for me and they’re going to want me to hunt ‘em.

For a while, I kept thinking over and over about the fact that I just… couldn’t kill vampires without a damn good reason for it. And we’re not supposed to. There’s this thing called the natural order that says vamps and humans are both a balance to each other. We stop each other from getting out of line. Vamps are vamps and humans are humans and we’re allowed to be what we are, so long as we don’t try to screw things up and destroy the planet. Well, the Supernatural Order doesn’t give a shit. They just hate vampires and look for an excuse to hunt them down. And me being a powerful seer?

Yeah, they’re going to be on my ass like white on rice.

So, I’ve been moping. I go to college, but what the fuck does it matter? I’m not going to get to be a doctor or a lawyer when I “grow up”, I’m going to hold a sword and actually use it some day. Don’t get me wrong, there are vampires out there who deserve to be hunted. Bad ones who do bad things. I just want to make damn well sure I’m only killing the ones who deserve it. ‘Cause… *grins*… You could say I’ve been discovering a lot lately that I’m pretty comfortable with the vampires I live with.

I guess it’s time to stop moping, though. I had a long talk with Delilah yesterday and I guess you could say she broadened my horizons… in a lot of different ways. *waggles eyebrows* She told me not to be so worried about the future that I forget to enjoy the present. She also told me that if the Order tells me to hunt somebody I don’t want to hunt, I can give them a giant middle finger.

I can’t help but to think that’s what Mom did when she married Dad. One giant eff-you to the world, saying she didn’t give a shit what he’d done as a vamp. She loved him, and he loved her. And Dad shot them the bird, too, when he took Mom away from the Order and hid with her in Costa Rica. Lyd and I wouldn’t have been born if they hadn’t told the Order to fuck off a few times and I’m beginning to think the same thing.

I want to make a difference. If I’m going to have all these powers, I want it to count for something. But anybody who tells me to do something I don’t want to do is going to have to kiss my ass. ‘Cause I don’t want to be afraid of the future any more.

Adios, todos.
John

Posted via web from My Journal – John Michael Dawes